Most embarsion lunch

Well i just got back form lunch with the "Ancesters" It was the worst experecnce i have had for quit a while. First, one of the "Ancesters" just happend to be a abstence person, so, the first 20mins of the conversation was dedicated to sex. Then when i first sat down my pants got caought. Then my grandmother went to the bathroom and took FOREVER so i went to checkon her. She was fine but we walked threw the bar to get back. all in all the lunch lasted about 3hrs. Then as we were leaving my aunt goes. "Did you know your pants are ripped" well no, of coarse i didn't then she kept bringing it up on the way out which took quit a whil because i was holding on to my grandmother who like forgets to walk. my aunt goes "Well at least there is a liner" and my other aunt person goes "I don't think thta is a liner" and then we are out side and my grandmoter is practically collapsing and my grandfather refused to grab her and im trying to cover up my exposed butt and hold on to her and make her shut up and focus on walking. Meanwhile he is commenting on the sprkinaler system. we get in the car and he is like "Do you want to come out to our house or go anywear?" I'm like NO my freekin underwear is showing now hurrny up and drive. I swear i try to do a good thing and my pants get ripped in the process. Nothing good ever happen anymore