Now before I go into my spoild little girl rant in which I will pretend to know far more then I really do as it is in my nature to do so I need to clarafy some things. I love them all very much. I am also to blame. I NEED to try harder. I need an escape and most importently, I need food.
So on this last day of my 3 day weekend I didn't go to bed until 5a.m. This due in part to the fact I was up allnight playing Tales Of Symphonia with Kristi. I didn't get up until 11 and ate breakfest at 12. However I'm ready for supper at 5:30 yet informed on how I woudl be easier to feed if I ate at normal times. How is 5:30 not normal? Whatever I can wait. I think I still have some 5month old Halloween candy.
Grandfather ate all the good candy. Figures. So I guess I'll wait for whatever. I'm told an hour. I can do an hour. An hour is nothing. Only thing is its not an hour, its 2 and when I find out what I waited 2hrs for I'm not a happy camper. Meatloaf. This makes me so incredibly mad, not becaues of the fact I dislike meat loaf and I want food I like. *though that would have helped* Its the fact they didn't tell me. It's the fact they KNOW I hate it and they KNOW I could have made something I like if I had known ahead of time.
Its not even the fact that I"m starving or that I just wasted 2hrs. No, I allways am wasting time they can't be blamed for that. It's that they watch me. I swear Grandfather goes "Donno this looks great! Your best yet!" Then he tries to make eye contact with me yet I refuse to look at him. Thats something weird for me. Then he tells me how lucky I am to have such a great cook in the family and then, he just stares at me.
They KNOW I'm just going to poke at it becasue I'll put up a good face. Heck I'll take a few bites but they all just look at me and make comments about how picky I am. I've even been told they'll know for sure I'm an adult when I start eating regular food. Sense when does my dislike of meatloaf make me childish? They Grandfather makes another sound of pleasure and says how great the food is again. Then he runs his fingers along my arm and I flintch.
I HATE IT when people do that! He's the only one who can get away with it. Everyone else gets a strong verbal warning. I just try to smile. This is rediculouse. I waited 2hrs for MacNcheese! Yeah I'm mad! I wanted to go to sleep early. WANTED! Now I have to come down and get something to eat because they took all the pleasure they could from dinner.
The conversation is intirly 1 sided. My mom talking to my grandfather about people Dad and I don't even know. They spend like 4hrs together every day for goodness sake! Come up with something else to talk about durning dinner that I am being forced to eat! Not even intersting people! Nope just about the people at church and how rude they are. This is when mom makes the comment "I just want to be told everything is great. That would make me happy"
Did my own mother just say that? I had to be adopted. Please let me be adopted! Do I really need to say that darn quote? Eh I guess its not a quote becasue I don't know who said it but "Happiness isn't having everything perfect, its looking past the bad things to find whats wonderful." Wow I screwd that up big time... I'll have to look it up later. Anyhoo my own mother is asking for ignorance! Beautiful innocent igrnorance. I can't do many more of these family dinners.
So the point of the story is that I'm freekin hungry, mad at my parents for being jerks, mad at my self for not handeling it better, and well I"M FREEKIN HUNGERY!
I can't wait until I go to school and be responsible for my own starvation!
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