I hate handbells

How are you all on this fine Mothers Day? The weather here in beautiful Kokomo Indiana is warm and sunny. Perfect for all those mothers day picnics.

I wouldn't know. My mom's asleep.

We did however go to church. But lets go back BEOFRE church, lets start at the begining..*scean fades*

Heh, I don't know why I'm doing this....actually the only thing of intrest that happend before church was I droped the scissors on my foot. I'm quite lucky they didn't hit a vain of somesort.

On to church! I've noticed a pattern, people only go to church on occassions. Christmas, Easter, Mothersday. How Mothers Day got thrown in there, I guess we'll never know. Probably because its your mom who drags you to church in the morning. You don't see people at church for fathers day do you?

Nope. But sure enough I'm packed in a pew with old people on both sides, and a spiky haird lady in front. A few people down from me is a 6month old baby who is quite fasinated by the spiky haird lady.

To me she's just in the way. But it was fun to watch the baby chew on her hair and her never relize it. I'm not gonna tell her. *wink*

Some churchs have praise and warship bands, we've got one but they never come out, so we watched the Bell Chior get down. The song sounded like a deranged Christmas Carrol.

One of the people in Bell Chior said hi to my mom. That was really nice of her. If only we knew who she was...she looked like a cross between my third grade piano teacher, and a friend of mines mom. This did not make it easy for me to look at her. So I didn't and I think she thought I had low self esteem.

Then the spiky haird lady's husband, who is bald and 30years older then her, messed up while playing the deranged Christmas Carrol. Everytime he's miss a beat a vain in his shiny head would pop out and he'd cringe.

My grandfather kept whispering to me, only when he whispers its more of a loud voice. Thats usually fine but when everyone is quietly watching the little babies be baptised its a bit...well, its not good. We recived quite a few glaces, he didn't notice.

I'm really glad that my moms side of the family are so bad at observing. Makes me feel intelegent. Like when my dad stops eating and stats sleeping, and you know he's sick because its 80degrees and he hasn't take nteh motorcycle out. Then when my mom gets in the car and goes "Did you know your father was sick!?" I can just smile and be like "Yep, didn't you?"

Which is exactially what I did, but were getting ahead of our selves.

Then while passing the attendance thingy around the pew to "See who is worshiping with us today" *I hate that fraze* Insted of the checkmark, I drew an alliberate smily face before passing it down. When it came back there were six other little smily faces all having a conversation with one another.

Come to think of it...I pretty much hate anyfrace assioated with Church. Just hate those words....I'm begining to think somethings wrong with me. SOmeone whos gone to church all her life should be able to here "Worship, praise, disciplies" with out cringing. Come to think of it...I only cring when the people you know don't follow those things say it...Which is basicly the whole church...hmmmm.

It was about half way through when I suppose the old people got hot. So just like clock work they all pull out their bulleton and start fanning themselves. I want to scream "If you didn't wear 5layers of clothing you wouldn't need to fan yourself!" Because quite frankly that drives me nuts. Especially when its not hot, and fanning won't help.

It won't help because I'm the one who's gettin the air, and I'm not hot. Probably because I dressed appropitly and didn't wear a jacket in the 80 degree weather.

Then the bell chior plays another rousing rendition of some old hyme, and I notice something odd about Spiky Hair. She crosses her eyes and sticks out her toung when she plays. It's all I can do to keep from laughing because the way the light is on her makes the orange glow of her fake tan all the more apparent.

Then I relized another funny thing about church. Words are differn't when your there. Take the word 'Invited' for instance. In every day life it implys you have a choice weather or not you attend. In church in means you must stay put and subject yourself to another 10mins of bell chior tourture.

I laughed at Spiky Hair.

Then came the biggest shocker of all. A lady walks up to my mom and they begin to converse. Not surprising considering thats what people tend to do at church functions. Its what their talking about that scares me. This lady won't let my mom get a word in edge wise, she's rather pushy and she's flaring her arms about as she speaks. You know, the kind of person thats okay for about 5mins, but any longer is over kill?

Ladys and Gentelmen, meet my new Spanish Teacher.

Yep, she goes to my church. This is going to make it incredibly difficult to back talk her if I must see her in a Holy place everyweek..

I'm doomed.